TA的首页Love is Not making you unhappy
Love Is Not Making You Unhappy
— A Letter to the Beloved
My love,
I can imagine you had a very difficult time last night. Also the morning. I apologize to you again.
You often hide your feeling, even under my complaint. It will be also suffered when she blames you. Each woman has limit to stand grief. You too. Thinking of your hardship, my heart got more hurt , because it's caused by my unforgiving behavior. like a baby. Remember one words:
”It’s painful to know someone you love is more happier when he’s together with someone else, but it’s more painful to know he is not happy to be with you."
Love is to wish you happy. Love is NOT making you unhappy. Unfortunately, it’s impossible for me to keep peace at our situation. I can’t stop missing you, I need more security from you.
I always appreciate to meet you, appreciate your care, tolerance to me. But still that’s never be enough. If not 100%, just 0. That’s my rule in love. I know someday complaints will burst out, like yesterday. I forgot my position in place. But you couldn’t. You are husband, you have duty in family. No wife can accept another girl whom you keep seeing, & spending too much time, in her opinion. To come out, you had to convince her, that’s why you kept saying to me something I really hated. Especially when you mentioned she needs doctor, etc. I got such a huge fury. What about me? I went to hospital alone by myself. It’s cruel to express your worry about someone else before a girl. Did you realize my feeling when you talk about her? She is my big pain. She’s the first one, only one, who makes me accused in morality court. I owes her. I never want to hurt her. But if same thing comes from your side, it’s totally different, because, love is exclusive. You can’t give me completed love, just make it looks completed when we are together. However, it’s still impossible, because the recent is not right time.
Oh, my love, I am NOT blaming you now. Just sharing my feeling with you. I can sense your dilemma. When you asked me not to show you such cold looks, I shrinked. I can’t forget your looks at that moment. Yeah, you Do deal with me very well. You can’t go until I feel better. How can I not value you? How can I give up you? But is there any better way? How can I hurt 3 people?
Think it over. We still cannot change the reality: We have to go back to each normal life. A little puzzle for me is: I can’t dispatch my feelings to others if still in love with you. You are the whole world, which I can’t betray in any case. I ran away from several guys for marriage, & the last one still depends on your answer. If you say no, he’s only a writing-friend. I believe you really want me happy, but don’t think you’re truly ok if I go out with him. However, for me, without any power to survive from love, try to accept a new guy is the only healing way. Please forgive me if I do so.
Maybe I should change belief now: Normally love is different with marriage. Love could be ideal without any reality base, but marriage, should be more real, less ideal. Maybe this is another enlightenment you bring to me. It will make me easier to accept someone, to live a simple life in reality. And you, I just keep in ideal world, in spiritual area. I set the song music only for your cal l-《Pray to Buddha / 求佛》- which I explained the story to you. It’s the best one to explain my helpless & insistent.
“I’ve been praying to Buddha for thousands of years. For that re-meet with you, No matter how many years I have to wait, & how much pain to bear.” If no way in this life, I just believe & leave the desire to next life, next next life...Take care. I am ok. Always love you, always wish you best.
— A Letter to the Beloved
My love,
I can imagine you had a very difficult time last night. Also the morning. I apologize to you again.
You often hide your feeling, even under my complaint. It will be also suffered when she blames you. Each woman has limit to stand grief. You too. Thinking of your hardship, my heart got more hurt , because it's caused by my unforgiving behavior. like a baby. Remember one words:
”It’s painful to know someone you love is more happier when he’s together with someone else, but it’s more painful to know he is not happy to be with you."
Love is to wish you happy. Love is NOT making you unhappy. Unfortunately, it’s impossible for me to keep peace at our situation. I can’t stop missing you, I need more security from you.
I always appreciate to meet you, appreciate your care, tolerance to me. But still that’s never be enough. If not 100%, just 0. That’s my rule in love. I know someday complaints will burst out, like yesterday. I forgot my position in place. But you couldn’t. You are husband, you have duty in family. No wife can accept another girl whom you keep seeing, & spending too much time, in her opinion. To come out, you had to convince her, that’s why you kept saying to me something I really hated. Especially when you mentioned she needs doctor, etc. I got such a huge fury. What about me? I went to hospital alone by myself. It’s cruel to express your worry about someone else before a girl. Did you realize my feeling when you talk about her? She is my big pain. She’s the first one, only one, who makes me accused in morality court. I owes her. I never want to hurt her. But if same thing comes from your side, it’s totally different, because, love is exclusive. You can’t give me completed love, just make it looks completed when we are together. However, it’s still impossible, because the recent is not right time.
Oh, my love, I am NOT blaming you now. Just sharing my feeling with you. I can sense your dilemma. When you asked me not to show you such cold looks, I shrinked. I can’t forget your looks at that moment. Yeah, you Do deal with me very well. You can’t go until I feel better. How can I not value you? How can I give up you? But is there any better way? How can I hurt 3 people?
Think it over. We still cannot change the reality: We have to go back to each normal life. A little puzzle for me is: I can’t dispatch my feelings to others if still in love with you. You are the whole world, which I can’t betray in any case. I ran away from several guys for marriage, & the last one still depends on your answer. If you say no, he’s only a writing-friend. I believe you really want me happy, but don’t think you’re truly ok if I go out with him. However, for me, without any power to survive from love, try to accept a new guy is the only healing way. Please forgive me if I do so.
Maybe I should change belief now: Normally love is different with marriage. Love could be ideal without any reality base, but marriage, should be more real, less ideal. Maybe this is another enlightenment you bring to me. It will make me easier to accept someone, to live a simple life in reality. And you, I just keep in ideal world, in spiritual area. I set the song music only for your cal l-《Pray to Buddha / 求佛》- which I explained the story to you. It’s the best one to explain my helpless & insistent.
“I’ve been praying to Buddha for thousands of years. For that re-meet with you, No matter how many years I have to wait, & how much pain to bear.” If no way in this life, I just believe & leave the desire to next life, next next life...Take care. I am ok. Always love you, always wish you best.
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